I let go a silent fart in bed last night…
I let go a silent fart in bed last night and gently lifted the sheet to let it escape, my wife shrieked ‘Oh my gosh, that’s disgusting! My eyes are watering’… Must have been bad, she was downstairs at the time”
I farted at work the other day.
My coworker tried to open the window…It must have been a really bad one, we work on a submarine.
I promised myself I would never tell another fart joke…
…but sometimes they just sneak out.
What would a bad idea from a brilliant person be called?
Brain fart.
Do you know what’s scary?
Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
Blast from the past.
I sit here broken hearted…
I sit here broken hearted, came to poop but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, tried to fart and pooped my pants.
What do you call a cat that likes to toot?
Puss’n Toots
What do you do to get a bubble bath after dinner?
Just have beans for dinner.
Why did the woman stop telling fart jokes?
Everyone told her they stink.
What did the poo say to the fart?
You blow me away!
What did the maxipad sing to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
James Bond always holds his farts while in bed.
Otherwise he would blow his cover
Chuck Norris’s farts don’t stink;
they've been too terrified to disobey.
I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.
What do you call a farting fairy?
Stinker bell.
Chuck Norris doesn’t fart
he just warns the air molecules to get out of the way.
What do you call a ghost fart?
Spirit bomb.
What is the best measurement for a fart to weigh?
Definitely zero grams, anything more and things start getting messy.
Chuck Norris once farted in a sealed room.
That room is now known as the Ozone Layer.
Why are silent farts called ninja farts?
They are silent but deadly.
Why won’t the skeleton fart in public?
He doesn’t have the guts.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
ife
ife who?
I farted
Chuck Norris doesn’t fart
he allows air to evacuate before it becomes hazardous to its health.
Why should you never fart on an elevator?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
Why did the referee blow his whistle during the game?
He was trying to cover up his own fart.
Hey, I never farted!
My butt just blew you a kiss.
A fart is like success.
It only bothers you when it’s not your own.
How did the beans wish their father on Father’s day?
Happy Farter’s day!
Where do you buy anti-fart medicine?
At the defartment store.
When Chuck Norris farts,
the U.S. Geological Survey records it as a seismic event.
Why did the ninja fart?
They are silent but deadly
What do you call a farting snowman?
Snowblower.
