Fart Jokes

Q: Why won’t the skeleton fart in public?
A:He doesn’t have the guts.”

I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.

Q: What is the best measurement for a fart to weigh?
A: Definitely zero grams, anything more and things start getting messy.

Q: What type of educating professional will never fart in a public area?
A: Private tooter.

Q: Why did the woman stop telling fart jokes?
A: Everyone told her they stink.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A: Blast from the past.

Q: Why should you never fart on an elevator?
A: It’s wrong on so many levels.

Q: What do you call a farting snowman?
A: Snowblower.

I farted at work yesterday, and my coworker opened the window. It must have been bad — we’re flight attendants.

Q: What did the poo say to the fart?
A: You blow me away!

Q: Why are silent farts called ninja farts?
A: They are silent but deadly.

Q: How did the beans wish their father on Father’s day?
A: Happy Farter’s day!

Q: What did the baby diaper say to the fart in the thank you note?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings!

Q: What do you do to get a bubble bath after dinner?
A: Just have beans for dinner.

Q: What blessing would you give someone who wants to fart but you don’t want them to?
A: May your farts stay in you

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
A fart.
A fart, who?
Not so funny for the guy behind you.

Q: What would a bad idea from a brilliant person be called?
A: Brain fart.

I sit here broken hearted, came to poop but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, tried to fart and pooped my pants.

Q: What did the maxipad sing to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

Hey, I never farted! My butt just blew you a kiss.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
ife
ife who?
I farted

Q: What do you call a farting fairy?
A: Stinker bell

Q: What do you call a cat that likes to toot?
A: Puss’n Toots

Q: Why did the ninja fart?
A: They are silent but deadly

Q: What do you call a ghost fart?
A: Spirit bomb.

Q: Do you know what’s scary?
A: Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.

A fart is like success. It only bothers you when it’s not your own.

James Bond always holds his farts while in bed. Otherwise he would blow his cover

I let go a silent fart in bed last night and gently lifted the sheet to let it escape, my wife shrieked ‘Oh my god, that’s disgusting! My eyes are watering’… Must have been bad, she was downstairs at the time”

Q: Where do you buy anti-fart medicine?
A: At the defartment store.

I promised myself I would never tell another fart joke…
…but sometimes they just sneak out.”

I farted at work the other day.
My coworker tried to open the window…It must have been a really bad one, we work on a submarine.