What is the best measurement for a fart to weigh?
Definitely zero grams, anything more and things start getting messy.
Why should you never fart on an elevator?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
I farted at work the other day.
My coworker tried to open the window…It must have been a really bad one, we work on a submarine.
Why won’t the skeleton fart in public?
He doesn’t have the guts.
How did the beans wish their father on Father’s day?
Happy Farter’s day!
Why did the referee blow his whistle during the game?
He was trying to cover up his own fart.
I promised myself I would never tell another fart joke…
…but sometimes they just sneak out.
I let go a silent fart in bed last night…
I let go a silent fart in bed last night and gently lifted the sheet to let it escape, my wife shrieked ‘Oh my gosh, that’s disgusting! My eyes are watering’… Must have been bad, she was downstairs at the time”
What did the poo say to the fart?
You blow me away!
What do you do to get a bubble bath after dinner?
Just have beans for dinner.
Chuck Norris doesn’t fart
he just warns the air molecules to get out of the way.
I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.
Chuck Norris once farted in a sealed room.
That room is now known as the Ozone Layer.
What would a bad idea from a brilliant person be called?
Brain fart.
A fart is like success.
It only bothers you when it’s not your own.
Why did the ninja fart?
They are silent but deadly
Why did the woman stop telling fart jokes?
Everyone told her they stink.
What do you call a ghost fart?
Spirit bomb.
What do you call a farting snowman?
Snowblower.
What did the maxipad sing to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
What do you call a cat that likes to toot?
Puss’n Toots
Chuck Norris’s farts don’t stink;
they've been too terrified to disobey.
I sit here broken hearted…
I sit here broken hearted, came to poop but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, tried to fart and pooped my pants.
Chuck Norris doesn’t fart
he allows air to evacuate before it becomes hazardous to its health.
What do you call a farting fairy?
Stinker bell.
Do you know what’s scary?
Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.
Where do you buy anti-fart medicine?
At the defartment store.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
ife
ife who?
I farted
Hey, I never farted!
My butt just blew you a kiss.
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
Blast from the past.
James Bond always holds his farts while in bed.
Otherwise he would blow his cover
When Chuck Norris farts,
the U.S. Geological Survey records it as a seismic event.
Why are silent farts called ninja farts?
They are silent but deadly.
